


For Daddy, But Mostly for Me

by Taeryfai



Series: Live and Let Avenge [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aunt Peggy Carter, But he does care for Tony, But he isn't all that bad, Capsicle, F/M, Family Fluff, For Daddy Universe, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Kid Tony, Kid Tony Stark, Light Angst, Stark Men and their trouble with emotions, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is a little shit, family love, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7938850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeryfai/pseuds/Taeryfai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was one day a year where his father was especially sad. Tony Stark decided that he'll fix this. If not for his father but for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony knew that his father loved him. Of course he had to, that was a parent’s job after all. It was just that his father had another time-consuming job of running a multi-billion company as well, besides mother spent enough time with him to make up for the both of them. He also had Aunt Peggy and Jarvis.

Being the child of the owner of a multi-billionaire meant that he was easily showered with whatever his fickle little heart could desire. So why did he feel so sad when the most acknowledgment he often got was a pat on his head when his father was on his way to his workshop. Was he truly that selfish? He knew that, the side effects of being a rich kid, being able to have anything you wanted often caused you to take things for granted and want more things.

He did not want for much however, what he really wanted was his father to see him. That was not something mother could just buy sadly. Still didn’t mean that he was not selfish, his father was needed elsewhere keeping the world safe with his weapons.

His father looked at him quite often, in particular when lightly ruffling up his hair with a small quirk of a smile before going again. He never saw him though and Tony had a sneaking suspicion that his father had not really noticed that he was no longer three. It seemed like habit now rather than his father doing it purposely before going on his merry way to his workshop.

Tony had long given up trying to follow him in the workshop now, his father had never let him, but the routine hadn’t changed. He’ll wait eagerly to show his father something he made then his hair would be ruffled and he would be told “Maybe later, kid.” He had long wondered whether he should give up as there had never been a later, but if he did not wait here then he wasn’t sure that he would get this little moment with his father that was solely his.

There was three days a year that this little routine changed. One was Tony’s birthday, which to his father’s credit he never forgot where his father lingered just a little longer and presented him with a small hug and a gift before vanishing again. Tony always looked forward to his birthdays and that small somewhat awkward hug.

There was also Father’s Day where Tony presented his father with a small gift he made himself, Howard never used them or even tried them but Tony did not let himself get too disheartened by this as the few occasions he could sneak a peek into his father’s workshop he was pleased to see a glass cabinet dedicated to the things he made on proud display each item with a plaque.

Then there was today. His father was always especially sad on this date every year and spent frenzied hours in his office (never his workshop on this date) trying to find something and draining his whiskey glass dry. Tony always got a little squeeze to make sure he was still there on this date that he wouldn’t just disappear like whatever his father was looking for might have. Tony often sat outside the office peering through the glass of the door just to make sure his father did not hurt himself on this date.

His father did once, by accident naturally, but he had drunk too much and in frustration smashed his tumbler into shards. Tony had taken his father’s hand gently and carefully wrapped it in a bandage after removing the glass. His father had seen him briefly then and marvelled at how tall Tony had gotten and Tony had received a chaste but sloppy kiss on the forehead.

“Son.” A small act of acknowledgment, Tony had nearly wept but in fear of embarrassment he kept it in. His father did not seem to remember much of that episode the next day and did not treat him any differently but Tony appreciated the sentiment much the same.

He did not know how much more his father had hurt himself before he was there to look after him, he was not going to take any more chances however.

And so yet another year sat outside his father’s door knees pressed to his chest and just making sure his father was alright. Something what made this year different however was Aunt Peggy was the one to drape him in a blanket and sit beside him with a plate of cookies whilst he was on his ‘shift’ rather than Jarvis or his mother. Aunt Peggy normally avoided coming over on this day, this date made her sad too.

“Hey, sprout.” Peggy murmured softly nudging his knee with her own, despite himself his mouth quirked into a smile at the small action.

“Not sprout. I’m a man.” Tony argued mostly out of habit. Peggy smiled lightly at him and ruffled his dark tousled curls.

“Such a brave little man. Keeping an eye out for his father.” Tony barely held his pout in at being called little before huffing and leaning his head upon Aunt Peggy’s shoulder.

Peggy tapped his nose lightly with her knuckle. “Did you ever wonder why he did this?”

Tony shrugged, his mother did not know herself and they both just assumed it was because of the war his father had lived through. He had also gathered that his father was looking for something, he did not know what though.

“Your father and I once knew a very brave man. People could even call him a hero... in fact I believe you may even have some posters of him on your wall.” Aunt Peggy’s tone was soft and kind. It just made him want to pull the blanket closer and burrow into Peggy’s warm side.

“Captain America?” Tony piped in, his eyes sparkling. He knew all about Captain America and enjoyed hearing stories of him in the rare occasions that his father sat down with him. He did not mind listening although sometimes he wouldn’t mind being the one being listened to.

“Yes... but also the man named Steve Rogers that lay behind Captain America. He once took a plane...” Aunt Peggy paused there, choked by some strange emotion Tony didn’t know how to name but recognised in his own father when he too talked about this subject. “Well, he saved a whole lot of people but in return sacrificed himself, your father believes he’s still alive and has been looking for him ever since. After years his hopes, and my own, have been worn down but just this one day a year he throws himself back into looking as I don’t think he’s quite ready to give him up yet. You see, this day is the anniversary of when he went down.”

“Oh.” Aunt Peggy knew him too, that was why she was sad, and he took her larger hand in his own and gave a squeeze.

“Your mother has worried about you.”

“Me? I’m not the one shut in like father.” Tony murmured in disbelief blinking.

“Oh Tony. You shouldn’t feel the need to wait out here to keep him safe.” She tilted his chin up and looked at him with sad but proud eyes “Wouldn’t you much rather do something else? You know, you could even go explore his lab just this once.” She added conspiringly.

“I guess...” Peggy could practically hear the gears in Tony’s head whirling before he answered with the bright grin of someone who felt they had come up with the most fantastic idea. Peggy nearly let a sigh of relief at the look which was much more suitable for someone his age than the one he had whilst waiting outside the office.

The grin faltered as he turned his head towards the office where he saw the form of his father pacing through the fogged glass.

“I’ll look after him this time okay?” Peggy reassured. She was answered with a kiss to the cheek.

“You’re the best, Aunt Peggy. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You sweet child, you have nothing to make up for.”

“Well then I’ll get you something nice for just being plain awesome. Also not a child or sweet.” Peggy merely gave him a large hug that he squirmed against but eventually gave in to and returned it breathing in the scent of her cardigan. It smelt of home and comfort.

“Alright then you little hell-spawn, I’ll accept any offerings to my awesomeness.” Peggy chuckled in defeat, Tony gave her one of those shit-eating grins that looked like it would split his small face. It was a shame he did not do it more often but she had a feeling that if learning from example it was a small miracle that he learnt to smile at all.

Howard had changed a lot after the war, especially after the lost of Captain America. Of Steve. She couldn’t blame him, it changed her too, but whilst she held her family close to her chest Howard seemed to have grown harder and more absorbed in his work. She had seen the old Howard when Tony was born, all pink and pudgy with a mane of black locks that could only come from a Stark. The way he had cradled him in his arms afraid as if he may break him, she had hope that he may find his bearings and finally leave the dark place he had visited far too often.

Sadly this hope was slowly dying, but as long as Tony’s faith remained she kept hold of this hope, there was only so long a child could wait for their father though and she just hoped that Howard would come to his senses before then. She had enough dealings with bitter men.

“Don’t forget the cookies, but I think I’ll keep some for myself.” Peggy told him before she was assaulted with a kiss on the cheek.

“Love you, Aunt Peggy.” Tony admitted turning red quickly, little boys did not cope well with such sappiness neither did Stark Men for that matter, and then he hurried off cookies in tow. Peggy Carter let out a sigh as it would be a shame for him to grow out of such affections as well, even if her hope still held for now she still had worries for the future. She could easily picture a future where the cute Tony Stark she saw clamber off had been so starved of affection and attention that he turned to anything to get some. Maria tried her best but she had never been the most maternal of women and she was dedicated on keeping the public side of Stark Industries positive and keeping clients happy. Jarvis too tried hard but at the end of the day he was just a butler with his own family to attend to.

It saddened Peggy to think of the small boy in a large manor with mainly an elderly butler and fluctuating nannies for company, but there was not much she could do as SHIELD was still a priority. Sometimes hope could be a bitter thing when it was all you had.

 

* * *

 

Father’s workshop, his hand trembled as he reached upwards and turned the handle entering easily. Absentmindedly he figured there should really be more security such as a lock screen which only opened to people with proper clearance, but mainly his thoughts were on how bad he would get scolded if he was caught or accidentally broke something.

He held on to the fact that Aunt Peggy had faith in him, had expected him to explore just this once. Aunt Peggy was one of the smartest people he knew, admittedly he did not know a lot (but his list including his father who was one of the smartest brains on the planet so he felt he had standing ground) but if she had faith in him then he should have faith in himself too.

It was almost like she knew what he had planned and encouraged him to do so. She would be pleased with his little gift to her and his father, well he was not sure that he could call the gift little, he was supposed to be over six foot after all.

Yes, Tony Stark was going to find Captain America so that his father would not have to be so sad once every year and neither would Aunt Peggy. Though if he could admit to himself the true reason he wanted to find Captain America was to finally have his father see him and be proud. The first step was to take all the information he could from the workshop.


	2. Capsicle

The next year happened much like the last and the one before that, until it did not. Howard went to ruffle his son’s hair before he realised that his hand met no resistance and just fell through empty air. He turned and looked blankly at the empty spot where his son should be but was not. For a moment he just stood there unsure what to do, why was Tony not here?

He waited for a while checking with himself that he was not just early that Tony would appear. He did not. A panic buried itself within his chest, if Tony was not here then where was he? Was he bedridden and sick but he did not notice? He had not even notice the lack of Tony before his hand reached empty air so he figured he would not notice if his only son was ill.

But what if it was worst? What if he had been kidnapped? It had happened before when Tony was much younger and was out with a nanny. Thankfully Tony had not been harmed and he threw whatever forces and money he had to get him back, Tony had never left the house without an armed escort again but there was still a chance the security had not been enough. Tony had also been too young to remember the kidnapping which was a relief; Howard did not know what to do with a child now let alone a traumatised one.

There was another thing that lodged itself uncomfortably within his chest, the idea that perhaps Tony had just given up on waiting around for him. He pushed this one to the back of his mind as this was the preferable option to kidnap, the one where Tony was safe and well. There was no reason he should find this one of the more upsetting reasons for the lack of his heir.

So for the first time in years he did not continue with his brisk long strides towards his workshop or his office, always too brisk and too long for Tony to catch up. Instead he turned away from them both and towards the kitchens.

* * *

Maria had not expected to see her husband until much later, tea time at the latest, let alone looking quite so frantic with his normally combed hair trailing around wildly reminding her of their son’s own unruly hair. She couldn’t help but smile lightly at the comparison

“Tony.” Howard stated, his voice sounded calm but his eyes betrayed him. Maria set her book down carefully beside her before looking at her husband imploringly. “Where is he, Maria?” Howard expanded voice clipped and brows furrowed, Maria blinked several times before she understood what her husband was saying. To anyone else Howard had not broken a sweat, Stark men were made of stronger stuff than to show their weaknesses after all if she was to believe her husband. She knew him better than that though and she could tell he was mildly distressed to an extent she had not seen in a long time.

“I haven’t seen him all day.” She answered calmly wondering what had brought this on, Howard hardly took any notice of Tony on his best of days so what had gotten him so frazzled on this one. Perhaps, she mused, Howard was finally taking an interest and had actually seen what Tony’s amazing little inventions could do. She hoped this was the case at least.

“Shit.” Howard cursed, Maria’s lips pursed at the language. It was never a good sign; it was either the sign of too much drink or too much stress. “Neither has Jarvis or any of the staff.” Howard muttered half to himself. Maria paled at that knowledge and she stood up brushing down her skirt.

“Call Peggy, but don’t break out the search parties until there is evidence he’s definitely gone. He’s still small and to panic just to find out he was in a secluded room along. Well to be honest it would be a relief but we cannot lose our heads, it wouldn’t help Tony even if he is gone.” Maria stated taking charge seeing as her husband was evidently too much in a state to do so himself.

If it was not for Peggy Carter, herself and the other strong women in Howard’s life Maria could have sworn Howard would be utterly hopeless and all marvels he made would be holed up in his workshop whilst he never left it.

She took Howard’s hands in her own and squeezed. “We’ll find him.” To an outsider they must have looked incredibly uncaring calmly going about their son’s disappearance without so much as raising their voices. They both knew better and each other enough to know that this was not the case. Stark men have never been the best at emotions and this Stark lady fared not much better.

* * *

 Well maybe this was not the best idea, just because he had a strong feeling he had managed in little less than a year than his father had in literally _decades_ didn’t mean he should go himself to check it out. He could have just pointed his father in the right direction and have been done with it but no this had in fact been mostly for him and being selfish he wanted to be the one who held the credit. Besides what if he was wrong and he subjected his father to disappointment, he had to check to see that he was right.

Getting there was surprisingly easy, he was a Stark after all and he had learnt from his father that if you approached anywhere with enough confidence as if you not only were supposed to be there but had the right to be then you could get almost anywhere. Coupled with the fact he was rich (or rather his family was) it helped.

All he had to look down his nose at them (surprisingly hard considering how shorter he was than everyone else) and raise a dark eyebrow as well as shoving his familial connections and they were prepping a helicopter for him and arming in too large arctic gear. Because of course his father knew he was here and what he was doing, he was here on his father’s behalf after all.

To be honest he had no idea how he was pulling this off without much question until he was met with the sight of Aunt Peggy looking at him with bemusement and disbelief, her arms were folded across her chest – a chest which was too clad in winter clothes.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

“Nowhere without you.” Tony murmured with a smile, the very picture of innocence. Aunt Peggy let off a short hiss of laughter despite herself, was this boy trying to turn her completely grey?

“And you did not think to alert anyone about it before you decided to make off with a helicopter and a bunch of equipment.”

“Umm... didn’t really see the point. Didn’t think anyone would miss me or notice me gone, to be honest.” She had failed him. Howard, Maria, Jarvis and every adult in this kid’s life had failed him there if that was what he really thought and she had to wonder whether Tony Stark had a point. He deserved to be the main focus of someone’s life yet he was not, always being pushed aside for something else, something bigger.

Here Tony was now, shuffling awkwardly with that small smile that was a small defence against punishment. He looked at Peggy pleadingly her lack of answer was getting to him, like an invisible pressure pressing down on all sides.

“Please let me go. I think it’s your super special gift as an offer to your pure awesome.” Tony blurted bouncing from foot to foot, Peggy relented slightly and here she thought Tony had forgotten.

“You need to go all the way there for a gift?” She said kneeling slightly so she was as his eye level, he nodded frantically.

“It’s very special.” Peggy closed her eyes for a couple of seconds before opening them with a sigh. Tony Stark was a smart kid, one could even easily call him a genius, and if he was certain about this she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. If she was truly honest to herself she was going to let him do this because she felt guilty, guilty for the amount of times no one had time for him and so she was going to give him some time.

“Well, let’s go get it then.” And Tony smiled. A true honest smile that lit up his face, a smile that made him look just like any other little boy rather than a lonely boy genius.

* * *

 It was beautiful, he had never seen anything like it, let alone up close. It was sleek and black, it made him feel as if it came straight out of Star Trek and he wanted it. It was mostly emerged in snow but he struggled slightly with why it took everyone so long to find it, it was not like how the Titanic was emerged in the middle of the Atlantic. He could understand the Titanic having not been found, for one it was a massive search area and second, bottom of the Atlantic.

This however could have easily been stumbled upon, probably, maybe at least by a polar bear! He chewed his lip lightly and kindly tried to give his father the benefit of the doubt as the man had covered such a vast search area and had no idea if the big CA was anywhere near land just somewhere between Germany and New York. They had been pretty lucky as well to have found it in the weather conditions that they had, if it had been in a blizzard it would have been a whole lot more difficult to see.

Besides he did not have the other responsibilities bearing down on him as his father had, he had whole months free and all the results from his father’s numerous searches to point him in the right direction. His success may have also spawned from his decision to look for the shield rather than the man and aircraft he was on. His father had been too attached to the man to consider focusing his efforts upon the shield and so all he really had to do was create a personalised super-powered metal detector (he was a genius after all). Vibranium was rare, like really rare and it did not come in large substances, the shield was unique and the good ol’ Cap had took his to his grave.

That was one of the reasons he had not told Aunt Peggy what he was looking for and thought he found, because he was fairly sure they were going to find the Captain’s corpse. If they were lucky he would be well preserved so they could find closure with someone who resembled their friend rather than a skeleton which he felt would be too heart-breaking. If he was on ice, it would look like he was sleeping and that was somewhat comforting.

He was slightly regretting allowing Aunt Peggy to come with now, but he knew if he did not then no one would have went. Seeing the Cap’s body without preparation would be painful.

He was not quite sure he wanted to see a dead body, but at least it wouldn’t be his first. His kidnap rescue team could be quite ruthless.

“Tony... what is this?” And of course Peggy had to ask questions he did not really want to answer.

“Well, if it is what I think it is... I would say closure. We should open it up.” Aunt Peggy was looking at it as if she _knew_ what it was in her heart but wouldn’t dare think about it in fear of disappointment. He didn’t want her to feel the disappointment either so he held onto enough hope for both of them that he was correct.

* * *

 “Shit! He’s alive.”

“Language, Tony.” Peggy Carter murmured but her heart wasn’t in reprimanding him. No, her attention was on the form in front of her. Her men had went in as in no circumstances was she letting Tony go in there but once she heard what was in there and saw in Tony’s face it was what he expected she had to see Steve. The one she hadn’t expected to see again but will thanks to this boy who decided to take things into his hands she was.

Was this partly her fault, thinking back she _knew_ what that prompted Tony into doing this and she had to wonder if that had never happened how long would have Steve remained in the ice. If she would have ever gotten that dance.

A small tear stubbornly escaped. Steve Rogers was at long last coming home. It was just a shame it had taken this long for them to get him there. 

* * *

Howard had been called to meet his son at a SHIELD base, Peggy had alerted them of having found Tony hours before but then there had been very little information until he was told to come here. He was sent to a room where he was met with his son.

“Tony. Where have you been.” Howard stated, his eyes were like steel, hard and unyielding. He was angry, relieved, and there was a small part of him which wanted to let out a sob, but he was a Stark and Stark men were made of iron thus not crying so he buried that part with a hatchet. The anger was winning out of the emotions, it was the one he was most comfortable with after all. How could Tony just disappear like that without telling anyone? Did he not think about the pain he would leave in his wake, how worried he left him?

He took a brisk step forward and then frowned. Tony had flinched away from him as if expecting to be struck, this settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, Tony should not think that Howard would do that to him. Was he truly that bad of a father? The anger faded and that small part that wanted to sob bloomed so suddenly that he hardly knew how to deal with it.

He sighed and encased his son in a hug. It was awkward. Tony was stiff in his arms and it made him doubt whether this was the right way to hug one’s son and he too became stiff before just letting his arms drop in defeat. A father should know how to hug his own son for goodness sake.

He looked down at his son and barely concealed his shock, when had Tony grown so much? He was still a small child but he had lost quite a bit of baby fat, from where he had been a bundle of soft skin and chubby cheeks he was suddenly all pointy elbows, lean and not very easily bundled in a blanket. Although clearly still a child he could see the man his son might be one day in his features. He would never be a tall man he mused looking at his son’s short stature; surely he should be taller at this age?

It was comforting to see the mop of dark hair to be the same reassuring him that yes, this was his son. How come he had not noticed his son’s growth?

“I can show you.” Tony said simply, formally as if he was speaking to a stranger. It hurt to realise that this was not far off the truth because how much time had he bothered to invest in Tony? It was not a lot once he actually thought about it. He exhaled deeply.

“Very well.” Then he was following his son, it was a first as his son was normally the one trailing after him though he did not normally take much notice of it. He was met with the sight of a rather tearful Peggy which was concerning, the woman was now an expert of keeping her emotions in check. If Tony had not been in his presence safe and sound he would have thought him dead considering her state.

“We have someone for you to see.” She informed him in a businesslike manner but the smallest of smiles slipping through.  Entering the door behind her greeted him with the sight that he dreamed about but thought he may never see after all these years. Captain America on ice.

“He’s here... found, alive.” There were just too many emotions running through him. “And he’s capsicle of all things.” Howard muttered in disbelief, Tony let out a sharp bark of laughter that warmed Howard’s heart.

Eyes shining Tony grinned “That’s what I said when I found him!” Tony clearly revealed in having something similar to his father. “Well not all of it, but the fact he’s a capsicle.”

“You found him?” Now that was a little hard to believe but the way it had slipped out had him believing it. It also explained quite a bit of Tony’s annual bill. Sonar equipment had been unusual requests from Tony.

Tony gulped and looked anxiously at Peggy for reassurance taking her hand in his. “Yes.” Howard was feeling quite sick now realising how transparently uncomfortable Tony was around him.

Howard kneeled in front of him, looking at him. Seeing him. “Son.”

* * *

 

Blue eyes opened to a pair of familiar smiling faces and one that was vaguely familiar as if he saw it before but did not fit quite right.

“Hey Cap, I believe you owed me a dance.” And he smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In MCU I read that Tony Stark was born in 1970, the Titanic was found in 1985 which is why I remarked that it had not been found. I haven't gave him a precise age but I feel that 15 is too old and that he would have given up by his teenage years which I consider is where the bitterness (about Captain America and Howard) would have burrowed itself in deep.


End file.
